The beauty of stepping back…

Sometimes, the world around us can just feel heavy. In our society, I am sure many would agree that we have felt this, but sometimes even within the little worlds we have created for ourselves, it can just feel like so much is working against you, or constantly throwing challenges you feel completely unprepared for; or, perhaps you are prepared and able to handle them, but it has just been so non-stop, that you are just exhausted by it all. While I do not believe in avoidance; in fact, I am someone who likes to face situations head on, with a lot of prayer, consulting with therapists, and in this most recent season of life, enlisting in support of my community, I do at times believe in the value of stepping back. 

Sometimes, when it just feels like so much is on your plate and you are constantly juggling and rolling with every punch that comes your way, especially with small children, I think the best thing can be to simply put everything on a pause. Again, I am not one to shy away from difficult conversations, even with my children, because I do believe in being honest with them, in an age-appropriate way of course, but sometimes, things are better when we take a moment to address it, or note that we are going to circle back to a specific situation, but right now, we are going to take a moment so we can all breathe. In our personal story, without getting into too many specifics, it has been a unique season. There have been moments that definitely felt too heavy to try to break down with our children, but that we have had to. While I am glad for those, because I do believe the transparency will only strengthen our relationships (and I will share at some point some of the beneficial ways we have found and utilized in having difficult conversations with our children about topics like illness, death, etc.) it doesn’t take away from the heavy feeling as a parent in having to have those conversations to begin with. Life is messy; we know this as adults, but having to break down some of that ugly with these little people can be heartbreaking, even if necessary. There is a balance, however, in appropriately addressing and facing issues head on to build resilient and emotionally well-rounded children, and stepping back, whether to process or to find an outlet to allow us to move along. 

Lately, our most favorite way of embracing some of the “not talking it out” is to sit on the floor and hug it out. My kids love Worship music, so they’ll at times ask me to “ask Alexa” to play some of their favorite songs, and then sit ourselves down on the kitchen floor to hug. I feel that being on the ground helps to be more at eye level with my kids so I can look them directly in the eyes and then fully embrace them. Sometimes I do this with both kids at the same time – them taking turns as to who gets to be in the middle, and we will sit there at times for what feels like an hour, shutting out everything around us, and just being in that space together. It does not cancel out when we need to address an issue, but dang, does it make us all feel good for that time to simply put everything else aside, and just feel connected, loved, and safe. I encourage you to try it. Whether you have children or not, in those moments that feel so chaotic, maybe take a step back and find a person you value and love, look that person in the eye, and then simply hug them. Let yourself deeply connect and just be embraced and reminded that among the chaos of it all, you are never alone.