Sometimes being a parent sucks. Yes, I said it. I adore my children more than anything in the world, and in so many ways, the person I became as a mother is the best possible version of myself. Other times, however, I see the way motherhood has not so positively impacted who I am. For example, the worry. The worry when your child has an allergic reaction or you get caught up in the media stories of deadly illnesses. The fear when your toddler lets go of your hand and darts out the door. It can be crippling for even the most zen parent. The reality is, we all have experienced some kind of traumatic event as a parent that changes the way we look at life moving forward. We have so much love for these tiny humans that it can be overwhelming and the desire to always keep them safe can cause serious panic. I am a naturally anxious person; I admit this. As a parent, though, I really push to have a laid back approach so that my children can take chances without their mother hovering. This works most days, but of course, there are the situations when my guard is down and I least expect it that then throw me into a tailspin. That is when parenthood really sucks. That is when the worry and now guilt comes in— “Was I too laid back?”“Should I not have done this?”“What could I have done differently?”Worst case scenarios flood your mind, even if logically you know everything is okay. These situations change you, sometimes into a person you do not want to be, at least for me, bringing out this ugly side of parenting. I see it when my toddler challenges me beyond belief, and as an imperfect person I lose it, sometimes snapping at him and launching toys into the garbage. I see it when my child has had a mild cold, but no other real symptoms, so I let it play out and then it escalated into something severe. While so many of the moments of parenthood are new and exciting and filled with laughter, others equally bring you to your knees and completely break you down, and. It. Sucks. No other way around it. These are the moments you call a mom-friend in tears that you told your toddler you didn’t like him very much. These are the moments you frantically google allergic reactions to gauge severity for your infant while you anxiously await a return call from your pediatrician to decide if you need to go to the ER. These moments can break you… but then you stop, you take a deep breath, maybe you step away from the situation if it allows it after the dust has settled and you laugh. Or you cry. Maybe both. Maybe you get yourself a bowl (or a pint) of ice cream and/or a large glass of wine (whichever fits the mood). Either way, you find a way to decompress, you probably check in on your little monsters a handful of times, and you prepare to do it all over again the next day, maybe embracing the “suck” just a little bit better than the day prior.